IF SOMEONE HANDS YOU LEMONS, THEN MAKE SOME LEMONADE
There's been some alarming reports of growing anti-Semitism in Europe. The guys who're putting the most effort in to it seem to be the French
. Heck, I seem to remember a war we fought against Germany (with the French as allies) to stop this sort of thing. If things get out of hand we can sign the Germans up as allies and invade France (and wouldn't the Germans just looove
that). Considering their military record for the past 100 years it wouldn't be a problem to take the whole country over. But what do we do with it when we're done?
The biggest problem U.S. tourists have when they go on vacation overseas is the expense and trouble to get there. And what do the tourists do when they finally arrive? They go and see as many monuments as possible.
We can make things easier by dismantling the monuments and shipping them to the U.S. (there's even a historical precedence
for this sort of thing). One of the first can be the Arc de Triomph since, let's face it, there's not any triumphs for the French to celebrate any more. Since the Statue of Liberty was a gift from France we can rename the island she's on FranceWorld and put the monuments there. Shops and restaurants can be built out there.
Capturing the ambiance of a French vacation would be paramount. Bathing for the staff would be strictly optional. Items sold on the island would be traditional French fare, such as 350 types of cheese, crusty day old bread, and overpriced wine that's indistinguishable from stuff shipped up from South America. The staff would be arrogant, unhelpful and rude. Every hour a polka band wearing lederhosen can march through and the French can roll over on their backs and show their bellies as a sign of surrender. So real you'd swear you were there!
Of course, FranceWorld would have to show a profit very quickly. So the first monument would have to be the most famous French landmark of them all, the Eiffel Tower. It can be set up in front of the Staue of Liberty so the shadow from the ever-thrusting tower falls on Lady Liberty's skirts. It can be phallic as well as Gallic.